I’m at a crossroads in my life. I’m on the backside of, what I hope to be, the most horrific things that will ever happen to me. However, in dealing with the backlash it’s created a war inside one of my children. A war that I have to step up and help her win. It’s my job as her mother, to help her work through this and beat this dragon. I know it’s possible, but it is taking so much out of me during this time.
This has been such an emotionally draining experience for all of us. I’m trying to be kind to myself as I learn to navigate a new normal. I’m trying to focus on what is ultimately important and what I want my kids to remember about our time together and the memories that we’ve made. I decided that 2020 was going to be a year of changes and growth for me. I chose the word forward as my focus word. I decided that I was going to put effort into things that would yield results in the direction that I wanted things to go.
I decided that spending my time reading and investing in my mind was a wonderful idea. In my art journal (it’s a 12×12 scrapbook), I wrote out a list of books that I wanted to read. Things that I’d saved on Pinterest, or heard friends talk about, nothing I had gotten the time to read in the past. I was already reading the Woman’s Murder Myster Club by James Patterson and flying through those. I wanted something more. I wanted something for my soul. I decided to start with Brene Brown’s books. I loaded them up on audible and read them in this order:
The Gifts of Imperfection
The Power of Vulnerability (it’s a talk she did live)
Daring Greatly
Rising Strong
I’m now listening to Braving the Wilderness and I’ll finish with I thought it was just me, but it isn’t.
One of the things she talks about are her guideposts for wholehearted living. I really love the idea of using my whole heart for life. I want to gain as much as I can out of this life and experience joy. As she explained these guideposts for wholehearted living I started to really connect with everything she was saying. I took some notes and looked up some additional information and decided that this was something I wanted to focus on. I knew that adopting these guideposts as my own had the possibility to do wonders for my life. I added a page in my art journal with the ten guideposts:
Authenticity
Self-Compassion
A Resilient Spirit
Gratitude & Joy
Intuition & Trusting Faith
Creativity
Play & Rest
Clam & Stillness
Meaningful Work
Laughter, Song & Dance
I have set the intention to live out these principles in my life. It takes work, but so does all change.